Where Does A Mother Go To Resign?

Has anyone else read this book?

Where does a mother go to resign?

"There is no where to go! Once you have that kid it's like getting a life sentence in prison with no hope of parole!" - Barbara Johnson

This is one awesome book. I look at my life and think of all the troubles my husband and I have been through and continue to go through with our family. I get so upset sometimes and ask the Lord why things are the way they are. Especially lately.

Recently I was reminded of this book and reading about Barbara Johnson's story and all she had gone through, including a crippling car wreck for her husband, the death of two sons and the homosexuality of a third.

If there ever was a woman who has been through the "ringer", it was Barbara Johnson. But she came out on top, wrote lots of books, told her story & helped thousands (maybe millions) of women with her stories, and never lost her humor. Above all, she always kept her faith in our Lord Jesus. After all, there is no place for a mother to resign.

This wonderful lady died in 2007, but her story will forever be in my heart. I will meet her in Heaven one day, maybe we'll talk about the fact that both of us lost two sons. Or I could tell her how much I admired her for her perseverance, and the fact that through it all, she never doubted God's abundant love. That's the way I want to be.

When life gives you lemons... I make cupcakes!

Sometimes things in your life happen that just... well... they stink!

I bought Ladybug a cute little black ballerina-type skirt for her birthday. She wore it one time, it was ripped up. I took the skirt to a lady that goes to our church who is a seamstress. She fixed it, Emily wore it to school & when she came home.... well the pictures speak for themselves. I took pictures in case I ever remember to email the company I bought it from to show them their shoddy product.

One of Ethan's doctors wanted us to slowly taper down on his behavior meds to see if they were working or not. He didn't want us to tell his teachers but keep in touch with them in case the meds were working well for him and his behavior started going south. I was nodding my head, but inside my head I was thinking, that this is not gonna be pretty.

Well... a phone call at work from his teacher & a phone call at home from the assistant principal later on in the week... equals one unhappy momma. Apparently the meds are working on Ethan, he does really need these meds & he is really one strong-willed kid. Lord please help me!

I was told at work earlier in the week that due to budget cuts & a hiring freeze, they are going to cut some jobs & shuffle people around. I was told that I will be placed in the purchasing/accounts payable position, effective October 1st. I'm training with the lady who currently holds the position for 1/2 days until the 1st. She's retiring on the 30th. The other 1/2 of the day I'm training the lady who will be taking over my job. Her current job is being cut, so they're putting her in  my position. I have until Friday to learn everything I can on my new position from the lady who currently holds it before she retires. Lord, please please help me!

We cleaned up our church parsonage on Saturday. Mark & I don't live in the church parsonage so the church has decided to allow a family who lost their home in the recent Bastrop wildfires to live there until they can get back on their feet. Alot of they church members came over yesterday morning to help with the clean up. They did a wonderful job! I'm so glad our church is able to help this family with two children. I know how the wildfire devastation has really effected our community and I'm so glad we are able to offer this home to this family. Lord, please be with all the people who lost their homes in the recent wildfires.

The icing on my cake? All the stress is making me break out. My face looks like a 15 year old! Yeesh!

So, after a very stressful week, I decided to beg Mark to get my fall decorations out of the attic. The sweet man that he is, did it without hesitation. He has really been my shoulder to cry on this week. Lord, thank you for giving me such a sweet man!

I love fall. I'm trying so hard think about cool autumn days & crisp fall nights, but it's still around 100 degrees here in central Texas. So, after setting my fall decorations out, I wanted to bake. Here is what I came up with.

Candy corn cupcakes!

Lord, even though I don't understand why we are going through all we are going through, I do know that you are in our midst. I believe you have made that perfectly clear this past week. You will see us through. I trust in you & will continue to fervently pray because I know you hear me each time I call.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9
We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.

Yes, that pretty much says exactly how I feel.

Dear Ethan

Dear Ethan,

I just want to let you know how much I love you. You've had quite a rough week with your behavior at home, school & your after school program. I know I haven't showed you very much patience, kindness, joy or self control.

I promise to try my hardest to be more patient with you. You are, in several ways, my *special* boy. You're special the way God gave you to Daddy & I. You're special that you have ACC, but very high functioning. You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. I think that's why I set such high goals for you. I believe you can do it, we just can't take the highway but we can take the back roads.

While talking to a therapist about you & your behavior yesterday I was asked, "Do you love Ethan?" YES!! "Do you want to give him up?" NO!! Why would someone ever ask me that? Never would that thought ever cross my mind. I was talking to her because I love you so much. I am a mom. I get very frustrated with my children. Sometimes, the *special* life gets to me. I get stressed out with situations that I feel should be one way but are going the opposite.

I was so very stressed this past week, but I promise you I will be more patient from now on. I know you are still only 8 years old and an 8 year old with ACC. You're *special*. I know I'm the adult. I pray that you will see God through me. I know that God had a hand in giving you to Daddy & I and God will give me the strength to get us through the rough times. I praise God for all He's done for me. I want you to love God as much as I do.

So, my sweet Stinkbug, know I will always love you. Know that I will not always be perfect, but your Daddy & I are committed to you and showing you our love & teaching you all about God's love and will for your *special* life.

All my love,

Momma

Officially ours at 18mo.

Wow! This weekend & into this week has been busy. It started out on Saturday, going to see a simulcast of  Beth Moore with my sweet friend from church, Mary.







She was awesome! I love Beth Moore & I love how she digs into the scriptures. I love her enthusiasm! I came back so excited to dig into the notes & scriptures from her teachings!

While at the simulcast, there were two ladies sitting in front of us. When it was time to break for lunch, one of the ladies in front of us asked if we would like to join them for a picnic. She said she had brought a lot of food expecting other friends to show up! Well, they didn't show up, which was our gain! Ha!

Let me tell you, this sweet lady put out a spread! She had wonderful sandwich bread, choices of meats & cheese, all the fixings with chips, dips, fruit,  carrots, cookies & she even made tea. It was wonderful. We ate outside on a shaded picnic table. It was so good!

Mary & our new friend, Nancy.

The sweet lady who put out the spread, Debbie.

These two sweet ladies joined us as well, Carolina & Marycela.

Marycela & I

I was very thankful that I was able to attend. One of my New Years resolutions was to come out of my shell a little, get out some and meet new people. I'm normally shy & I like to be home with my family as much as possible. My sweet husband graciously encouraged me to go to this Bible study. He told me not to worry about the kids, to go & have fun. I'm so glad I went.

One of my other resolutions was to read & dig more into God's word. This Bible study helped me with both of these. Now for that whole resolution to lose weight. My son asked me the other day why my belly was so mushy & my daughter told me my butt looked big tonight. Sigh & double sigh. Where's my Weight Watchers books?