Adoption Link-Up

Today I'm participating in a link-up from Kelly's Korner that's all about adoption.

My husband and I lost our first baby, Chandler in January 2002 to a rare form of muscular dystrophy called Myotubular Myopathy (MD). After he passed away, we found out that I was a carrier of that disease, and it affected boys.

I was so devastated. That news meant having more children would be risky. We run the risk of having another affected child, in fact it would be 1 in 4.

We decided to try and adopt. We started by looking into fostering to adopt. We started the fostering classes in May 2002. We were very specific in what we wanted, and the foster agency understood our loss and understood what we wanted. We had a whole nursery set up for a baby. We still wanted a baby.

We got a few calls here and there for children, but it never worked out for one reason or another. Twice, Mark and I rushed home early from work only to get a phone call on the way saying they were going with a different couple or decided to go with a family member.

In March 2003, Mark and I decided to take a long overdue vacation. For kicks we chose Las Vegas. We went, had a fabulous time and enjoyed ourselves so much. What we didn't know was that a couple weeks after we came back we would get a phone call about a baby boy named Ethan.

Surprisingly, everything went quickly. They called us on a Tuesday and said they needed an answer by Wednesday because the baby was in the children's shelter. Now's the time I tell you that Ethan was born with a condition called Agenesis of the Corpus Collosum (ACC). Basically, he is missing the fibers in his brain that connect the right half to the left half (the "highway" in the brain). So we had some serious thinking, research and prayer to do in 24 hours.

I still remember Mark and I on our knees in prayer, in our old house, in our old bedroom praying and asking God if this is the baby boy we're supposed to have. I felt peace about it. Mark did as well.

Friday morning, April 17th, a fat, bald headed baby was placed in my arms. And he never left. Everything went so smooth. It had to be of God. Of course we had awesome case workers with our Foster/Adoption agency, with the state, with the attorneys, CASA and others who knew Ethan was meant to be ours.

Ethan was 3 months when he came to us. He was 18 months when the adoption was final.

Adoption Day, July 2004

Ethan's 4th birthday.

Ethan is now 10. Of course, we were able to have a healthy baby girl and Ethan got a little sister in 2006.

Branson, 2012

And unfortunately we lost another baby boy, Max to MD in 2007.

But, Ethan is most definitely our son. I believe he is the son that God has meant for us.

Ethan is really high functioning for a child with ACC. He has a slight learning disability. He has trouble with complex thinking and thinking "outside the box" or trying to come up with "what do you think will happen next". That's due to the missing corpus collosum which is called the brains "highway". Even though he is missing the "highway", there are back roads. But he is getting great help in school and has passed every class all 6 weeks in school this year. He is also getting "Excellent" in is weekly behavior folders this school year too.

We are so proud of Ethan. I don't regret going the adoption process one bit. I believe that God closed all the doors until Ethan was available. Once he opened that door, no one could shut it.

We love you Ethan!!! You are funny and handsome and you have the whitest most beautiful teeth! I love your teeth! Sometimes you blow me away with your maturity and you are growing up so fast! You, my son, are loved!

Happy Birthday, Max!

Today would have been my Max's 5th birthday.

I love you sweet boy.

I cherish the short six weeks you were here with us.

So small. So sweet. So precious.

We miss you terribly.

Happy Birthday, my sweet, sweet angel boy!

Love, Daddy, Momma, Ethan & Emily

Thankful Thursday, Friday Cookies, Weekend Wrap Up & My Chandler Would Be 11

So on Thursday, instead of writing my normal Thankful Thursday post, I decided to take a break.

Mark took the kids to Waco to go visit his family and when I came home from work, I had the evening all to myself. I washed, dried and put away a load of laundry. I swept and mopped the kitchen and foyer floor. Then I took a shower, washed and dried my hair, repainted my toe nails and plucked by eyebrows. You know, the things you really need to do but are usually in a hurry and it just goes by the wayside. Then I made myself a sandwich and sat down and was able to watch the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love. Very cute movie.

I was very thankful for a weeknight completely to myself. And yes, I enjoy the laundry and the sweeping and mopping when I am completely alone.

Here are my Friday cookies I made for the local bank.

 These are soft zucchini spice cookies. They turned out really good.

When I came home from work on Friday, I walked in the door and there were a total of 4 kids in my kitchen, standing around and eating popsicles. Now, Mark and I tease each other all the time about going to the Ukraine and adopting more children. So, I asked Mark if he had made a quick trip to the Ukraine while I was at work. Turned out, it was one of Ethan's friend's little brother and sister. Ethan's friend and his mom went to the store to get last minute items for his birthday party and Mark volunteered to watch the little ones. But once I got home, Mark said he had a bad headache and wanted to go lay down. So, my Thursday evening was nice and quite and my Friday was, well, loud.

Ethan had a great time at the party on Saturday. While he was at the party, I took Emily to go see Brave. The movie we in 3D. Did you know you need 3D glassed to watch a 3D movie? I thought you could watch the movie without the glasses, but to get the 3D effect, you need the glasses. Not true. Once the movie came on and everything was blurry, I quickly realized that I needed the glasses. I was wondering why the lady passing out those glasses looked at me funny when I told her "No thanks, I don't need them.". I had to climb down the stairs in the dark and get a pair. Live and learn.

This afternoon, about 24 of us from church went out to eat lunch. Mark's ex-step dad (who raised him a majority of his childhood, but his mom is no longer married to) and his wife, Brenda came down for a visit from Missouri. Mark considers Bob his dad and we were thrilled for Ethan and Emily to spend time with another set of grandparents.

Emily, Bob,  Brenda & Ethan

One last thing. Monday the 25th would have been Chandler's 11th birthday.

I miss this boy so much. I allowed myself a good cry on the way to work, but I asked God for strength for the rest of the day, which He so wonderfully granted. So, happy 11th birthday, sweet boy. I miss you more than words can say. I'm crying as I write this, but I know you are with Jesus and I will see you once again. That is so very comforting. I love you.

Branson Trip, Post #2 & Happy Father's Day

Here are a few more pics from our Branson trip.

Silver Dollar City was so pretty. I loved the old fashioned feel to it. They had beautiful flowers everywhere.

We rode the train which took us all over SDC. They did a little skit where our train was robbed by two hillbilly brothers, and we were sitting in the perfect seats on the train. They did the whole thing right in front of us. The kids got a big kick out of this.

The guys on the train.

The guys robbing our train and the conductor.

More fun, rides and games...

Right before we left, we let the kids pick out a sweet treat. It was really warm, so they chose an Icee.

On Wednesday afternoon, we went and way the play Joseph.

The theater was beautiful. This production was amazing. They did a really good job in making a Bible story come to life for my children. There were live animals all throughout the play and I loved seeing the excitement and wonder in my children's faces. Of course, they told us up front that they had to add to the story and some characters to the play. But we made sure and told the kids up front that the story of Joseph was absolutely true. 

The kids are still talking about some of the funny parts of the play. When we got home, Emily ran to her room and found the story of Joseph in her Bible and wanted me to read it to her. I love it!!!

We were right up front and on the isle seat, so the animals ran right by us. During intermission, a snack cart was brought in and the kids were allowed to pick a snack with the money they saved for the trip. They enjoyed their king sized skittles and snickers while watching the rest of the play.

All and all we had a great time. The kids enjoyed themselves and loved seeing all the sights. We had a safe trip and I'm glad to be home.

And since today is Father's Day, I want to say Happy Father's Day to two special men.

My dad.

Such a wonderful Godly influence on me, my husband and my children. With a great since of humor to go along with it. I love you Dad! I'm so lucky to have a wonderful father in my life.

And, my hubby.

I adore you! You're a wonderful father, so patient and kind, yet such a strong leader. You have been by my side through the death of our two sons, the adoption of Ethan and the birth of Emily. Your love for the kids and I are unquestionable. I thank God for you all the time.

Happy Mother's Day!

I wish every mother a very wonderful Mother's Day! Whether all your children are healthy, or your pregnant, or you have a special needs child, or you have a child in Heaven, today is a day to honor you.

I had a wonderful day with my two children, and I watched their precious faces as they handed me their homemade cards with their hand prints and homemade magnets with their photos on it. Those thing I will treasure forever. I also am missing my precious Max and Chandler. I am also thanking my precious Heavenly Father for choosing me to be their mother, even through I had my boys for a short while.

Mother's are a gift from God. I love this job that God has charged me with. I heard this song for the first time the other day, and as I listened to it, tears just streamed down my face. Every word that was in this song is something I have prayed over my own children many, many times and absolutely hit home with me.

Please listen, and may all of you have a very happy Mother's Day!

Today I'm Missing...

Today I've really been missing my two angels in Heaven.

Most days, I do OK. Sometimes, the sadness really gets me. Today, I've been thinking about these angels alot.

My sweet Chandler-bear. My first baby. How I loved you. You had such a sweet spirit about you. You loved that little stuffed dalmatian. You used to talk, babble and smile at that little dog all the time. I remember how you used to struggle to reach out and touch it. We buried you with that little puppy. We had you for almost 7 months. We were so lucky to keep you for as long as we did. 

And my little Max. You came 6 years after Chandler. You had light reddish-brown hair, which was different from Chandler and Emily's dark hair. You and Chandler had one of the same nurses in the NICU. I felt so sad that I only had you for 6 weeks. But, I'm thankful for the time I did have with you.

I love and miss you both terribly. I know I will continue to have good days and not so good days. Both of you are forever in my heart. My sweet boys, please know how much I love you. Daddy, Ethan, Emily and I will see you both again one day.

Happy Birthday Max!

Dear Sweet Max,

Four years ago today you came into the world. I didn't know how long you would be with us, but I'm thankful that God gave me 6 weeks to love on you before you went to Heaven.

I miss you terribly. I think I grieve for you the hardest. I felt like I really didn't get to know you. I cried every time I saw you because I knew you would be gone too soon. We were able to bring your big brother home & we were able to spend almost 7 months with him. We got to know his personality, see him smile & spend the holidays with him. So not having that with you has been very rough.

We spent as much time with you as we could.

We would come to visit every night. We would sing, read the Bible & pray over you; hoping for a miracle. The doctors finally told us it wouldn't be long. We were able to bring family in to meet you.  
Your brother and sister got to meet you before you left us.

You received lots of hugs & kisses as family came in to say goodbye.

You had reddish-brown hair.

You were so sweet.

You had sweet nurses & doctors. One of your nurses also took care of your big brother. She remembered him & asked to be able to take care of you too!

Sweet Max, although you were definitely a surprise, you were a blessing. I only had you with me for 6 short weeks, but I will be with you forever in Heaven. Even though my heart grieves for the loss of my baby boy who I should be celebrating his 4th birthday today, I will praise my Lord.

So, Happy Birthday sweet Max. Mommy & Daddy love you!!