Adoption Link-Up

Today I'm participating in a link-up from Kelly's Korner that's all about adoption.

My husband and I lost our first baby, Chandler in January 2002 to a rare form of muscular dystrophy called Myotubular Myopathy (MD). After he passed away, we found out that I was a carrier of that disease, and it affected boys.

I was so devastated. That news meant having more children would be risky. We run the risk of having another affected child, in fact it would be 1 in 4.

We decided to try and adopt. We started by looking into fostering to adopt. We started the fostering classes in May 2002. We were very specific in what we wanted, and the foster agency understood our loss and understood what we wanted. We had a whole nursery set up for a baby. We still wanted a baby.

We got a few calls here and there for children, but it never worked out for one reason or another. Twice, Mark and I rushed home early from work only to get a phone call on the way saying they were going with a different couple or decided to go with a family member.

In March 2003, Mark and I decided to take a long overdue vacation. For kicks we chose Las Vegas. We went, had a fabulous time and enjoyed ourselves so much. What we didn't know was that a couple weeks after we came back we would get a phone call about a baby boy named Ethan.

Surprisingly, everything went quickly. They called us on a Tuesday and said they needed an answer by Wednesday because the baby was in the children's shelter. Now's the time I tell you that Ethan was born with a condition called Agenesis of the Corpus Collosum (ACC). Basically, he is missing the fibers in his brain that connect the right half to the left half (the "highway" in the brain). So we had some serious thinking, research and prayer to do in 24 hours.

I still remember Mark and I on our knees in prayer, in our old house, in our old bedroom praying and asking God if this is the baby boy we're supposed to have. I felt peace about it. Mark did as well.

Friday morning, April 17th, a fat, bald headed baby was placed in my arms. And he never left. Everything went so smooth. It had to be of God. Of course we had awesome case workers with our Foster/Adoption agency, with the state, with the attorneys, CASA and others who knew Ethan was meant to be ours.

Ethan was 3 months when he came to us. He was 18 months when the adoption was final.

Adoption Day, July 2004

Ethan's 4th birthday.

Ethan is now 10. Of course, we were able to have a healthy baby girl and Ethan got a little sister in 2006.

Branson, 2012

And unfortunately we lost another baby boy, Max to MD in 2007.

But, Ethan is most definitely our son. I believe he is the son that God has meant for us.

Ethan is really high functioning for a child with ACC. He has a slight learning disability. He has trouble with complex thinking and thinking "outside the box" or trying to come up with "what do you think will happen next". That's due to the missing corpus collosum which is called the brains "highway". Even though he is missing the "highway", there are back roads. But he is getting great help in school and has passed every class all 6 weeks in school this year. He is also getting "Excellent" in is weekly behavior folders this school year too.

We are so proud of Ethan. I don't regret going the adoption process one bit. I believe that God closed all the doors until Ethan was available. Once he opened that door, no one could shut it.

We love you Ethan!!! You are funny and handsome and you have the whitest most beautiful teeth! I love your teeth! Sometimes you blow me away with your maturity and you are growing up so fast! You, my son, are loved!

Thankful Thursday!

So the other night after supper, Emily went to play outside. Ethan then said he was going to ride his bike around the block. Ethan has a little more freedom than Emily. He can ride his bike around our neighborhood as long as he tells us where he's going, we agree on it, and he follows the rules.

So, I'm cleaning the kitchen, Emily's outside playing and Ethan says he's going bike riding. A little bit later, I get a phone call from my dad, who tells me that not only Ethan is at their house, but Emily's there too. My parents live three houses down from us, however we're in a subdivision out in the county, so they may be three houses down, but they're 1/2 a mile away.

I tell my dad that Emily is not supposed to be down there and he should send both kids back home. Now, Mark waits outside for them. When they come home, I can hear Mark, not yelling, but being very stern with Emily, telling her she knows she is not to leave the yard and explaining why. Next, I hear Emily crying.

Emily has a very tender heart. She's very sensitive. The other day she received a "yellow" on her behavior folder for talking too much (she's really like her dad, no kidding!) and cried when she showed it to me. Well, needless to say, she knew she had done wrong. She knows she's  not to leave the yard. So, she cried off and on all night. After getting her out of the bathtub and drying her off, she started to cry again. I reiterated to her we were not mad at her, we are supposed to protect her and we do that by not allowing her leave the yard by herself until she's older.

Now's the time I tell you that I have been reading "The Help"

So, while I was drying my baby off and she started to cry again, I just wrapped the towl around her, told her she was a good girl and how much we love her, then this book came to my mind. So as I held her, I said this...

This book is very good by the way. I have yet to see the movie.

So, I'm thankful for such a tender-hearted baby girl. I pray she will carry that sweet, gentle spirit with her all the days of her life.

Lastly, after I got home this afternoon, Ethan asked me if he could call his dad. I said sure. He dials, then realizes he misdialed and hangs up. The phone rings again and Ethan picks it up. He's talking to someone, so I assume it was Mark. Then, Ethan hands the phone to me and tells me they need to speak with me.

Me:  "Hello?"

Them: "Hi. This is Bastrop County Sheriff's Office. Your son just dialed 911 and I'm making sure everything's alright."

Me: "This is who?"

Yep, we had our first 911 misdial. I explain everything's fine, my son misdialed trying to call his dad.

I'm thankful for what happened next. Ethan started crying, because he didn't mean to call 911. He knows that is for emergencies only. But Ethan's not one to cry. When he does something wrong he is usually stone, blanked faced. He get's defensive. We're not sure if that's due to the ACC, or that's his make-up genetically or what. ACC kids sometimes don't know how to react in certain social situations, they get confused or they just don't understand severity of certain situations. They sometimes don't get sarcasm and have a hard time reading facial expressions.

But he actually showed true, real emotion to this lesson. I explained it's ok, I wasn't mad, he just needs to be more careful next time while dialing. He said alright, then proceeded to call his dad, correctly this time. But I was actually impressed with this!

So, today I'm thankful for little ones who may have shed some tears this week, but learned some important  lessons. And I'm thankful that I was there to hug them, tell them how much I loved them and explain to them that even though mistakes were made, they are loved, they are cherished, and they are still kind, smart and important.

Good Luck, Ethan!!!

Today is a big day for my stinkbug!!

Today he takes the 3rd grade Texas STAAR Test. Actually, he will be taking it for the next two days. This is the mandatory statewide test.

Today math. Tomorrow reading.

 Went to bed at 8pm. Snacks & water bottle packed. Had a good healthy breakfast.

You'll do great Ethan.

I'm not worried. God has given me peace. I pray God will be with Ethan today as he sits down to take this test.

I'm grateful that Ethan is able to take this test. His teachers have been preparing him for this. Also, he will get some good help while taking this test because of his ACC.  He's pretty much awesome!

Good luck, Ethan! We love you!!

Siblings, An Anniversary,Cub Scout Sunday & Ethan Gets Groovy

Weird title. I know. But I have lots of stuff to share from this past week.

First off. I found this on Emily's door the other day. I totally understand. Ethan has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He get's wild really easy and once he's hyper, it's had to calm him down. He acts a lot out of impulsiveness. A lot of time Emily get's the brunt of Ethan's mood. If she refuses to play with him, or if something happens while they are playing with each other, he will impulsively hit her or say ugly words. My husband and I are trying to use the doctor's tips and redirect him, and then later address what he's done.

Ethan is never going in my room again.

Not bad writing for a 5 year old. She wrote it herself. Ha!

Just the day after that note appeared on her door, I found this on her easel in her room. She has such a big heart for her big brother. We always try to take her aside and encourage her.

On February 1st, the Hub and I have been married 15 years. We got my parents to watch the kids on Saturday afternoon and we went to Austin, ate a wonderful late lunch and then went shopping. Mark automatically drove to a Hobby Lobby and then Target after lunch. He's so sweet and knows me so well.

Ready to celebrate 15 years!

So good. First time to eat here.

This Sunday was Cub Scout Sunday. Ethan got to wear his Cub Scout uniform to church and his daddy recognized him during the service.

Last but not least, Ethan had his 3rd grade program last Thursday. It was songs of the 60's. They sang 60's songs from the whole decade, like The Twist, Downtown, Cool Jerk, The Adam's Family, I'm a Believer and ending up with Age of Aquarius. They talked about things, news, dances and styles that were popular in the 60's.

The thing with ACC, kids may have a hard time socially. Ethan struggles with this. He doesn't like public singing or dancing. He's usually the kid in the group that just stands there stone still while the other kids are singing and dancing around him. He's had a hard time this year in 3rd grade socially. Example, he still thinks it's funny to make toot sounds under his armpit. His peers laughed at first, but after a while, they get tired of him acting up. They're maturing. Ethan is still very immature.

This being said, Ethan told me he didn't want to go to his 60's program. He told me they would be singing and dancing and some kids will get to say parts into a microphone and they would have to dress up 60's style. I told him he didn't have to dress up, but I think he would have fun if he went.

The night of the program, I tried to get Ethan to at least wear a tie died shirt. No go. It was a black t-shirt and jeans for him. I didn't argue. We went to the program and he did great. I was a little worried at first.

It was super crowded. Other parents don't listen very well to instructions. We were asked to sit down and keep the talking to a minimum. See the lady in the striped shirt? Every time I would stand up to snap a picture of Ethan real quick, she did the same. I saw her back most of the night and not the kids. Sheesh!

But, Ethan did well. I even managed to get him on video dancing. Well done little man. I was very proud of you. Enjoy!

Smile & Say MRI!

Stinkbug waiting to do the MRI

                                                           *Warning. This post may be a little long.*

My heart is full. I love this boy very much.

Ethan went for his MRI last Friday. I have to say, the people at Dell Children's Hospital know what they're doing. We were there twice in one week for two tests & both times the staff was wonderful with Ethan.

Ethan did great with the MRI & they didn't have to sedate him. He was able to watch a movie  through goggles & earphones while they did the test.

When Ethan came to us, he was only 3 months old. We were handed a little chubby bald headed baby and told, here, he has ACC.  He'll probably have learning disabilities, possibly seizures. They were really vague and didn't have a lot of answers. We didn't care. To us, Ethan was perfect. He hit all his baby milestones on time, some early. Fast forward 8 years. We now have questions. What kind of ACC does Ethan have? Full ACC, partial ACC, thinned CC? None of the paperwork we had on him could confirm this.


While standing in the room with him while he was having the MRI, I was just in awe. All I could do is stand there and thank God for giving man the smarts & ability to run tests like this so we can see into Ethan's brain.


Even as I was standing there watching all of this, I knew. I knew the results already. I knew the MRI would confirm Ethan's ACC. I was at peace with that. I felt God's peace. I was just hoping that the test wouldn't add any other complications. I know children with ACC often have additional medical issues. I recently read the following:

"In nearly half of all cases, agenesis of the callosum is associated with different congenital abnormalities, including Dandy-Walker syndrome, septo-optic dysplasia, Chiari one and two malformations, Aicardi's syndrome and holoprosencephaly. Arachnoid cysts and hydrocephalus may also develop in conjunction with these abnormalities."

Again, I felt God giving me peace, and saying "Ethan may have ACC, but ACC doesn't have him." That's true. Ethan is amazing. Ethan may have ACC, but whatever the future holds, he will be awesome.

We got the call today. Ethan has complete ACC.

I'll admit it. I cried. I allowed myself to shed a few tears. Just a few, because I already knew and this doesn't change Ethan. It was the missing piece of the puzzle I knew would come.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't stay sad very long. The only thing wrong with his brain is ACC. Nothing else. He doesn't have seizures, hydrocephalus or other medical abnormalities. Ethan can walk & talk & run and ride a bike & do just about anything else he wants to. Other children with ACC are not so lucky.

I've come full circle. I'm amazed with Ethan. I look at him in awe. I always felt that Ethan was meant to be my son. That's really cool to know that the son I was meant to keep wasn't one of my own, but a little boy whose parents couldn't take care of him, a little boy who needed me as much as I needed him.

Now we know. So what? It doesn't change anything. We don't know what Ethan's future will hold, but I do know that it's gonna be alright. Whatever happens, Ethan will always be my boy, and I'm o.k. with that.

Me & Ethan on his 4th birthday.

Great News!!!!

We got the results of Ethan's EEG already, and the news is... everything looked normal. No seizure activity.  Praise the Lord!!!

His MRI is tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. Thank you everyone for keeping Ethan in your prayers! God is good.

We love you Ethan!

Stingbug & his 1st EEG!

Stinkbug had his first EEG today.

Getting hooked up.

He did great. It was supposed to be a sleep deprived EEG. Which means that if he went to sleep during the test, that would be great. Do you think he did that? That would be a big fat NO!


We let Stinkbug stay up way late. So late he slept on the couch. I woke him up at 5:30 this morning, we made him go out and ride his bike & skateboard during the day to help wear him out. Then I gave him a bath to help relax him  & kept him awake in the car on the way to the hospital.

People, if that were me, I would be out the moment they turned out all the lights. But that's me. Not  Stinkbug. The nurse told me he didn't even get drowsy during the test but because he was sleep deprived, it should be ok.

Glad the test is over.

Emily showing her latest drawing in the car on the way to the hospital.

Ethan's MRI is Friday. We'll see what that has to show us.